Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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