sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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