My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
