I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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