but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
