Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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