my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
