I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
