isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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