Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I looked at my own cervix.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
