my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
