if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
