halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
