Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
