I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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