i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
