Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
