Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
