note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
