I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
