I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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