My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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