It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
