ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
