He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
