Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
