Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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