She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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