This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
PANTIES FOUND
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