Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
