let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
