Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
