i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
