I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
