Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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