did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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