I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
