Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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