She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
