She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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