i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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