Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
