i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
