alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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