fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
