I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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