Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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