Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
50% drunk capacity currently
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
