i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it because I queefed?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
