Your mouth is God's brothel.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
