New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
