I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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