Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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