So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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