Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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