Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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