just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
