I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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