Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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