you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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