Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I AM VODKA MAN
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
how drunk are you?
Several
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
