bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
