Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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