Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
