You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
