You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
